That thing called leisure

The resplendent brightness welcomed her aboard
Unto the final emptiness stretching till eternity
The freezing slapped against the unseen door
And she was ushered forward, all drenched up and messy

The heaviness descended upon her
Through the hollow passage of emptiness
The void enclosed in upon her
She was on her way to heaven

Traversing through the incessant corridors
Her imagination, her fancy came to front,
And all the dreams that she’d dreamt
Unfulfilled, lay before her

She saw the life that she had just passed
Crippled and crumpled by the burden of responsibilities
She felt the lack of leisure
And the upcoming of emotions so witty
She detested and frowned at the role that she had cast

Daughter, mother, wife, sister
Nothing of the sort that could appeal to her
The fetters of social ties had had her tethered
Leaving her to live a life so peculiar

Peculiar, to her own self,
Peculiar, to what she wanted to be
Peculiar, to her own philosophy
Of what she was meant to be

She was pushed on to a ground
Welcomed by the gardens of paradise
She saw happiness, she saw the leisure
That she had, all the time, wanted to be,
And, then, she saw for one last time
The words on her tombstone
‘ to exist is to survive
To love is to live ‘ ”

Life! Funny Thing !

“If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side!”, so goes the truthful trite. Life, according to me, can be very well described as a continuous process of learning that one gains while on his own voyage of experiences, thoughts and memories. My beliefs may not coincide with everyone else’s but even then, my way of living, my childhood, my experiences may not coincide with others’ too. Fair enough! I definitely got to say with a huge lot of conviction that experiences do form a significant part of every individual’s life. I had some experiences that contributed to the development of the personality that I assume today. It is experiences that lead you on your journey from a little cry baby to a maturity and responsibility. One of such life changing experiences for me was the time that I spent in grade XIth and XIIth. That time exposed me to the doors of reality and of what it takes to socialize and be with people.
Being the only student with a 95% in class X who opted for commerce gave me an unwelcome reception. My new colleagues thought of me as a weirdo who chose commerce in spite of an awe inspiring percentage in class Xth while my old teachers were still busy talking me into taking science. Well, that was a tough time. It was real hard to get people to accept my decision but once that was done, it was another huge problem to get people to accept me. I had never felt like such a loner and honestly believed it to be the end of life. The “I don’t want to go to school” days seemed to have come back and being in the confinement of detestable mood swings, I had also become a pain for my family. That’s when I realised that this has to stop. The problem is with me and not with the rest of the world and that I will have to come over my hesitation and win over the circumstances. I went to school the next day and sat next to a guy named Gautam who was visibly uncomfortable but of course didn’t object. How he must be wishing to have had been sitting with a partner that moment! I talked to him and found out that he had scored a 60% and tried my best to answer his “ why did you choose commerce” question. Apparently and strangely enough, he became comfortable after a while and there we were discussing random things about life. He then introduced me to his other friends and who too seemed to approve of me after certain basic enquiries. And there it was! I could gradually sink into “the group”. The astonishing part here is that once I got these new people in my life, things actually began improving in all facets of my life, academics, family, old friendships, relationships and my own self. I felt like the entire gap in my life had been filled. And that’s where I started to excel. I always had writing and speaking abilities but a huge degree of under confidence had always deterred me and interfered with my ability to participate and come out with my real talent. I did get a 95% in tenth but that apparently was solely a product of bookish efforts. Till that time, my aspirations to be a speaker, a writer were mere dreams: dreams waiting to be realized. All of it was probably destined to come true here in class XIth when I would get the encouragement to showcase what I already had. The only difference was that I was the one who approached. I remember making a fool out of freezing on stage in front of the audience and then unable to speak a single word back in class IX. And I remember going to national debates in class XI. I remember getting the opportunity to do the anchoring alongside revered Mr Chetan Bhagat on the Founder’s Day. I remember being elected as the team leader of the Editorial Board for the school chronicle that year. I remember progressing ahead with a fast speed, I remember what it feels to be what you want to be. Playing with my newfound strength to discover people, I also found out what I wanted to be. I escalated to such heights that year that I was appointed as the deputy head girl of the school the next year in class XII much against the wishes and expectations of other co-aspirants. That moment in the investiture ceremony was the feeling of an accomplishment, an accomplishment that felt so much mine, that felt earned.
That time in my life had had a significant impact on my outlook towards life not just because it gave me all that I had dreamt of at that particular point of time, but because I learnt to explore my own self and learnt how to pull up that part of me which I really aspire to be. I learnt how to develop into what I want to be. I learnt how to meet the right people, how to learn, how to be good, how to be my own self. I had always believed in a power that existed in order to make things happen the way they do. I learnt that most of that power lies in our own self. It is truly said that we mould our own destiny. We turn ourselves into what we want to be. The only thing that we need to learn is to know ourselves completely. And once we do, there’s no stopping, there’s no stepping back! Karma is the word. And karma is what we create. KARMA IS what I create out of my own self. I would, therefore, like to conclude by saying that the greatest achievement one can really have is self awareness. It is, indeed, one of the greatest gift you can give to yourself. After all, as Janas Arany puts it,
“ In dreams and in love, there are no impossibilities.”

Thoughts…….can be dangerous!!!

The chilling winter breeze seems to be inviting Christmas cheer. Sitting here in my college away from home, my thoughts trace back to the last Christmas, when i met him first. It was a great time, the celebration and the merry making. It’s a different story now although. But I’m glad that I still have him. The fun part is he may go anytime, I may choose to leave abruptly, everything may just remain  a story adorning the walls of obsolescence. It’s all, I believe, a process called growing up….growing up and leaving behind a trail of sentiments, of experiences, and of what I was.

Love is, indeed, a transient emotion. It is one that lasts even when it’s gone and leaves a scar, an unerasable one, on the mind, thoughts and heart. I love him, but I do not really see my future with him. I find him cute, but I know he’s messed up; and I love him inspite of that . What then is this going to be? An unfinished tale of time or could we go for the “destined to be” hackneyed. I don’t know. And maybe I don’t want to know as well. Maybe I still want to be blindfolded  by the tunes of the times and let the humdrum of life affect me the way it does. Maybe I still want to wake up to a “surprise gift” by Santa Claus regardless of the fact that my dad put it there. Yes, I want this. No “Maybe” this time. I want to get rid of all these growing up complexities and fall back into that strong cocoon of love, support and strength. I want to escape the big bad world, go back home, wrap myself in a blanket and go off to sleep waking up to a beautiful Christmas present in the shelter of my family.college-2

Rendezvous With the Chamberlains of Fortune

“Catastrophe! Catastrophe!”, she screamed as she regained consciousness from a deep slumber that had continued incessantly for a week. Her whole welkin seemed to have undergone a wholesome transformation after the attack, the attack by the unknown.

She wandered too late into the forest, where her own doom pressed upon her as thicker darkness enveloped her on all sides. Set to meet the chamberlains of fortune, she ended up being lost forever in the black hole of the trauma, the occult and the unseen. She had seen, changed and transformed. Nothing remains with her now but the memory of that one moment which had imposed itself on her.

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The laws of nature are not meant to be tampered with. The are meant to be accepted and to not be questioned. What she saw in that darkness, we will never know. What came upon her by her own venomous magic, we will never be able to tell. But all that remains in her life now is “Catastrophe! Catastrophe!”

LOVE…<3

EVER FELT  LIKE YOU’RE IN LOVE???!!! I know most of you must have….The most wanted and sought after infection after all…!!! Love isn’t always as simple as they show in movies right?!! We have amidst us a plethora of the wrong type of people and the right kind of people and the most impossible sets of couples….some ending up in a disaster and some, in a happy happy ending!! It really is funny that until and unless you feel the air, the weather, the music getting right into you telling you that “yes you are in love!!! This is it !!! “, you don’t really get to know the exact feeling of how it is….I didn’t or maybe I don’t or maybe I do…I have always had that movie-ish dream of that perfect guy holding my hands, being there for me, having a strong shoulder to cry on and the much-wanted happy ending. I am sure everyone has..But is it really that simple….that uncomplicated an affair??? I doubt that greatly !!! What do you say about it..?….Is it always the right person or is it just to break up that people get together…I have been seeing a lot of breakups lately…what then is the purpose of love is its ultimately meant to break up….maybe just to live that moment…just to feel that level of happiness…maybe just to know what it is like to be in love and to forget everything in love..!!!

P.S. some readers might seriously find this a lot of nonsense. Apologies!!!love-7 luv Love-Fire

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WEirdnessss…….

The world around is totally totally weird……everything!!!! Its all about luck and time…..and yeah then comes effort..!! Ain’t it weird that one person who is at the top rules over people who are, in all probability, much more sensible and efficient than him!! Well, that’s how it is..!!! This thing called luck..!! It ought to be our best friend dude!! Destiny, after all, ain’t rubbish……Just look out for that one opportunity which is gonna give you your real life….the kind that you, yes you, wanna live!! Do anything except giving up your hobbies..except giving up the fun the real side of you and trust me you are gonna rock then..!! So quit being boring….sacrifice anything except the real you and that same real you will take you to success……..and yes that success which brings money and name and fame and bla bla bla !! So good luck!! LOVE WHAT YOU DO AND DO WHAT YOU LOVE….!!! that is what is the pursuit of happiness 😀

The onset of solitude

The world around us is a malicious subterfuge that tends to play with our existence. Shakespeare has rightly asserted “All the world’s a stage and all men and women merely players”….When i lie in my bed at night and my mind is traversing through the moments of the day, I can feel the heaviness that surrounds me. The heart, as they say it, craves for a companion..one that would understand, one that would accompany, one that would sacrifice all that he has just for the sake of love.

I feed on philosophy as that helps my soul to uplift into a realm of momentary tranquility from the horrid world that its entrapped in. And it feels good! it feels good to think about the unknown and unjustified theories of life. It renders me the calm and peace. This unseen yet felt force in the air tends to embellish my fatigued spirit with rejuvenation and enriched strength to fight with all possible circumstances and I face the next morning blossoming with the same cherubic smile, that same search for that one somebody, that same positivity which wears off by the end of the day and the process continues.

Yes, this is what I call meditation. This is what I call prayer. This is what has given me the most sparkling abilities which distinguish me from others. I can talk to my conscience and extract the strength out of it. I can take up challenges and not be bogged down by that thing called fear or nervousness. I can express myself and I can uphold the truth that shines in my eyes and that’s why people tell me “your eyes are beautiful..”….Yes, I live in this world which is no more a safe haven to reside in but yet I’m not giving in to the thraldom that this world has to offer…….I choose to live. I choose to be happy. I choose to enjoy.I choose to have fun. And I don’t care where it takes me …..